Addiction
by Draiq
Summary: There are many addictions in life, but rarely are they good. An addiction will break and scar, Dean knows this better than anybody...but will knowledge alone be enough to save them? ... M, Wincest, Slash/Yaoi, Eventual Lemon, Incomplete
1. Crawl

Hiya peeps!

Well, unlike a lot of my other random smut fics, this one actually has quite a strong plot! O.o So I'm going to take this chance to say **MAJOR SPOILERS** for everything up to the last episode of season four. You have been warned!

I would also like to take this chance to tease you with the fact that the title to this fic is not at all referring to Sam in any way XD

With the lyrics I used, I took some lines and put them in **BOLD**, these lines are from Dean's point of view. The lines in _ITALICS_ are Sam's POV.

**Disclaimer:** Neither Supernatural, nor any of its characters are mine. This plot however, is. The lyrics used in this story are from the song 'Scared' by **Three Days Grace**.

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Sam slipped from the car easily, throwing his pack over his shoulder and stalking into the motel room, ignoring his brother's vehement cursing as he ran his hands over the new dent in 'his baby'

"Come on Dean, don't worry about it. We'll just bash it back out later when we stop at Bobby's."

Dean hissed angrily, "'Just bash it out'?! Sammy, this sort of thing has to be handled with precision and care!"

Sam shook his head with a grin, "yeah, if that's what you would call Bobby with a mallet in his hand…"

Dean just ignored Sam, crouching down to inspect the small dent closer, cooing soft words of apology to his shiny black Impala.

Sam barely noticed the room's interior; it was just another motel room. He dumped his bag on the bed that he instinctively knew his brother would delegate him, and moved to the bathroom to wash his face free of blood and grime. A few seconds later he heard his brother enter behind him, noisily slamming the door and plunking down hard on his own bed.

Sam grimaced as the TV buzzed into life, his brother's answering curse meeting the news that they had no reception in this abysmal place. Given a few hours free, Dean could rig it up for them, but he didn't imagine they'd be staying that long.

Sam looked back up to the mirror and cried out, taking a sharp step back he slammed into the wall, bruising his back painfully on the towel rack.

Dean was beside him in a second, reassuring hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek, checking his face for signs of what disturbed him. "What is it Sammy? What's wrong?"

Sam just shivered, pushing Dean away, "it's nothing, don't worry about it.

_At night I hear it creeping_

It couldn't be happening already could it? It had only been a couple of weeks since his last hit; his last dose of pure demon blood. They both knew it was coming, but to be confronted by his fate so soon, so abruptly?

_  
At night I feel it move_

What had stared back at him from the mirror was not his own face; not truly. Its mouth was twisted into a vicious sneer, its bare chest covered in fresh wounds that didn't bleed, and its eyes the blackest of pitch.

_I'll never sleep here anymore…  
_

Dean wasn't buying it for a second, but he left his brother in the bathroom, moving back to lay idly on his bed. He drew his feet up behind him, cushioning one ankle atop the other as he lent back fully into the coverlet. He hated this; the quiet, the lies, the animosity. He wanted his little brother back; the Sam he used to know.

But he wasn't there anymore.

**I wish you never told me**

He couldn't ignore it, not really. And he wasn't ignoring it now either; he knew the signs. Sam was going into withdrawal; but it was too soon. Still, the brothers had promised to work through it together this time, and Dean would go back to hell before he let his little brother continue down this path.

**  
I wish I never knew**

He had two dreams these days; two horrible, nightmarish dreams. His worst, and most hated was Sam falling back into the pit of his own addiction. The recall of it stung at Dean every time their eyes met.

**  
I wake up screaming  
'It's all because of you!'  
**

But the second dream was old; so very old it felt that he had been seeing it since he was but a child. He heard screaming, felt the burn of red-hot fire, and the bite of ice-cold pain. But more than that, he felt it. Though what he felt was the one thing he would never let Sam know.

Sam steeled himself against the images flashing through his mind; it was coming on quickly. Unsteadily he moved back into the main room, slumping down onto his bed as though he might collapse. "It's coming on too quickly Dean; we'll need to go to Bobby's tomorrow, first thing."

Dean nodded silently, "I know. But don't worry, we'll have you fixed up soon Sammy."

The older man stared darkly at their ceiling, so many thoughts bubbling around in his head. It would be painful for Sam; so very painful. But if a junky was anything, it was powerless, and he refused to allow his brother to remain in that position for any longer. Still, there were the echoes of hell whispering in his mind.

**So real these voices in my head!**

If Sam needed blood, he could get it for him no problem. But in doing so, Dean would be feeding his own sick addiction; a desire he refused to give in to. Still, his bones ached with need, his heart speeding at the scent of blood, the thump of a heart, and the screams of unadulterated agony.

Slowly the room began to dim, and after a while Dean heard his little brother's breathing even out; each breath deep and heavy, rattling noiselessly through his lungs.

He would protect him; at any cost he would save his one and only. Sam was all he had left.

**When it comes back you won't be**

Dean was just dozing off when the sound of Sam's whimpering met his ears.

_  
Scared and lonely_

He crouched beside the other's bed, his finger's reaching out to brush through Sam's hair gently as he murmured quiet words of safekeeping.

**You won't be scared, you won't be**

Sam woke with a start, shooting up off his bed he was enfolded instantly in warm arms. He blinked tearfully, his hands pushing against the chest holding him close. It took him a long time to realise what was happening; who was holding him, and as he did, he slowly melted into the other's arms.

He could feel the tension in the other's muscles; this was his fault. He was worrying Dean; scaring him. He clutched the other close for a short moment, before pulling back; he couldn't use his brother like this, couldn't make him worry or fear.

_You won't be scared and lonely_

Dean looked into Sam's eyes carefully. He knew Sam too well; he was a caring older brother, it had always been his role, but an emotional one who showed feelings? No. He had to put Sam at ease; make him think this odd version of his most loved was all a dream. It wouldn't do for Sam to know that he was worried. "It's all a dream Sammy; you're hallucinating. Get back in bed, and you'll wake up to the real Dean."

**You won't be scared you won't be**

Sam stuttered uncertainly, but nodded smiling, "right, sorry. Still, at least this time you're not yelling at me…" he moved slowly to lie back down again, his eyes tearing as he rolled onto his side; facing away from his brother.

Dean watched Sam for a short while, before following suit. He led staring at the ceiling once again, and felt the familiar prickle arching up his spine. It was on nights like this that he needed Sam; needed the grounding of a little brother who relied on him.

_**LONELY!**_

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Sam woke with a start, his eyes snapping open in a frenzy as he searched the room frantically for his brother. His eyes met Dean's concerned ones and he relaxed visibly. Slipping slowly from his place beneath the twisted sheets he stood and stretched. He felt good, really good. At least, he thought he did.

He moved towards the bathroom and stopped dead in his tracks. Looking down at his hands he saw them shaking visibly, spots flashing before his eyes. Looking up quickly, he took a step back as Ruby walked casually from the bathroom.

_I know there's something out there  
I think I hear it move  
I've never felt like this before…_

"Dean…" Sam whispered, "Dean, is that Ruby, or am I hallucinating again?!"

Dean caught Sam by the face, turning his startled eyes to meet his own, "there's no one there Sammy, it's just you and me."

**I wish you never told me  
I wish I never knew**

Horror flashed through Dean's mind, before quickly being replaced by anger. That's right, it was Ruby who did this; her and her scheming master.

**  
I wake up screaming  
'It's all because of you!'**

He shook Sam almost angrily, "come on Sammy, snap out of it!"

Sam just looked at him blearily, his eyes unfocused and hazy. "She knows me Dean…she knows everything about me." His little brother's eyes were filled with hurt and pain at remembered wrongs. Dean shook him again, and began pushing him towards the door. He quickly grabbed their still packed bags, and forcefully shoved Sam out to the car.

Ten minutes later they were on the road, rock music blaring loudly to cover the occasional sounds of Sam's sobbing. It appeared that 'Ruby' had followed them into the back seat.

Sam shivered and quaked, his body rocking slightly in his seat beside Dean.

Ruby sat in the back making casual conversation, drilling every word to the base of Sam's skull, "you know Sam, he's going to leave you again. He doesn't understand you, not like I do."

"Shut up, just shut up!" Sam groaned. But no matter how hard he pressed his palms to his ears, he couldn't drown her out.

"Oh Sam, Sam, don't think I don't know. You loved it really, that feeling of power, even the way you had to cut someone open to get it. You loved it all, and you loved me for giving it to you. You want more, don't you Sam?"

Dean watched Sam with pained eyes, before returning them to the road, the sun's early morning light barely showing over the horizon.

He wanted to hurt something; most notably Ruby. But the bitch was already dead and gone. He felt a flash of power lance up his spine, the tingling longing dripping from his bones as he clutched the steering wheel. It was getting harder every day; trying to hide the new him was taxing, so very taxing. He couldn't do anything; couldn't fight, couldn't cut, tear or rend. He couldn't kill, for fear of letting it loose.

**So real these voices in my head!**

Sam sunk lower in his chair, and Dean thought perhaps he had lost consciousness. But Sam's eyes still rolled lividly in his head, his breath hissing through his lips as he curled in on himself. With a gentle sigh Dean let his fingers tangle in his brother's hair, stilling him instantly.

**When it comes back you won't be**

The soft caress broke through to Sam, drawing him up from the well of remembered agonies. But it didn't make any of what he had done better.

_  
Scared and lonely…_

Dean continued to pet his brother reassuringly, his foot heavy on the pedal as he sped down the highway. They would make it to Bobby's soon; they would get there if it killed him.

**You won't be scared, you won't be**

_You won't be scared and lonely_

**  
You won't be scared you won't be**

_**LONELY!**_**  
**

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Dean skidded to a halt outside Bobby's house, sliding from his seat he opened Sam's door, grabbing his brother around the waist and forcefully dragging him from his seat.

Sam screamed and struggled feebly, his eyes running with tears and hands shaking where they gripped Dean.

**It's all because of you…**

**  
I wish you never told me…**

**  
I wake up screaming now…**

"You know Sam, I really don't know why I spent all of my time on you…you were never any good at any of this," drawled a voice beside his ear.

"…why else do you think Dad threw you out?"

Dean grinned at Sam viciously, his eyes glinting with malice, "he threw you out because you were a liability! But you know, I thought I would give you another chance…" He threw his arms out to the sides, yelling at the sky, "and look what you've made of yourself Sammy!"

He grinned and spun in a circle, before letting his eyes fall on his pitiful excuse for a brother, "the only way you can stay alive without me is to suck on some bitch's demonic blood! You are that weak!"

He moved closer, his fingers tracing wet lines in Sam's tears, "and look at you, little Sammy, all weak and blubbering. Even then, it still wasn't enough, was it?"

Dean opened his mouth wide and screamed, "FAILURE!"

_So real these voices in my head…_

Sam broke away from Dean's grasp, his eyes on some invisible target, "Dean, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he cried painfully, his fingers clawing at his face, before tearing off between the cars.

Dean felt pain prickle along his sides as he understood that his brother's most recent tormenter had been himself. Suddenly Bobby was beside him, sweat trickling down the side of his brow. "Was that Sam I heard wailin'?" he gasped, "we have to get him back! How could it have started already?!"

Dean didn't answer; he was too busy chasing after his brother, his feet carrying him swiftly between the wreckage of dumped cars. He could feel it building already; the lust in his veins. It felt his heartbeat, and his brother's, and it wanted to shred.

**So real these voices in my head!**

Dean couldn't find the power to resist it. He felt the last of his walls cave, and it burst from him in a wave. He could feel him now; his brother. Not twenty metres ahead of him; huddled between two cars, curled in on himself. Dean could feel his panicked heartbeat rolling over him like the beat of a drum.

**I wake up screaming now  
I wish you never told me  
I wish I never knew!  
**

In a rush Dean was upon him, his brother's form pushing him down hard into the ground; pinning him in place.

_Scared and lonely…_

Dean saw the flash of pain in Sam's eyes, knew the implication. He was hurting, hurting so badly that he might even be breaking. He was also afraid; Dean couldn't let that happen.

**You won't be scared, you won't be**

He grabbed his little brother strongly, and fought down every urge that was screaming at him.

_You won't be scared and lonely_

With an effort he dragged Sam back to Bobby's house with him, pushing him forcefully down the stairs one at a time, dragging him by the ankles at one point, as he fell to the ground screaming.

**You won't be scared you won't be**

Sam begged then, screaming painfully, "I did what you wanted! I did it! Why are you dragging me to hell! I brought your master back!"

_**LONELY!**_**  
**

With a sinking feeling, Dean knew that Sam was being plagued by their yellow eyed enemy. It seemed that in his hallucinations, nothing stayed dead.

With a final tug he was standing before the open iron door, his little brother on his knees beside him, swaying dangerously.

Lifting him up with a grunt, Dean dragged him the rest of the way inside, dropping him unceremoniously on the cot. He moved back out to the door, where Bobby was standing with a tear leaking from his eye, "it's for the best son."

_Scared and lonely…_

**You won't be scared, you won't be**

_You won't be scared and lonely_

**You won't be scared you won't be**

_**LONELY!**_

"I know," Dean grimaced, and slammed the door behind him.

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Well there you go!

And who ever said I couldn't write angst? (There's a proper one of those on the card actually, should I get enough interest.) In any case, this is nowhere near done, so stay posted! XD

And please PLEASE press the button and tell me what you think!


	2. Bite

Hiya peeps!

If anyone's reading this, I'm back with another chapter at last!

Okay, so I've used another song in this chapter, and for the lyrics **BOLD** is Dean, _ITALICS_ is Sam, and _**BOLD/ITALICS**_ is Dean talking to Sam. I hope it's not too confusing! XZ

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never has been, never will be. But a guy can dream... The song used in this chapter is 'Get Out Alive' by **Three Days Grace**.

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Sam watched the fan spinning idly, his eyes flicking around with it as he felt the shadows flit across his face. Three hours had passed since Dean and Bobby has locked him in, though he only knew that from the path of the light past the gaps in the fan blades. To him, it had felt like an eternity.

"_**No time for goodbye**__" he said  
As he faded away_

Dean hadn't been back to see him yet, but he knew it was just a matter of time; they would have to feed him. He knew instinctively that what he was going through was going to drag on, and yet no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, the passage of time was infinitely slow.

And here he was, trapped inside Bobby's shelter, no escape, and an ache burning itself into his veins. He wanted to scream, to shout, to tear at his clothes and his body until it didn't hurt anymore.

_Don't put your life in someone's hands,_

_They're bound to steal it away._

These attacks would come and go, sometimes Sam would feel perfectly rational, and the simmering in his veins died down to a mere tingle. But then suddenly it would rise up again, and his body would be thrashing wildly on the cot, until he fell from it, hands and feet pushing and dragging his shuddering body into a corner so that he could throw up his misery.

Something creaked behind him, and Sam turned, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand as he stood unsteadily.

"Hey Sammy, how are you doing?" Dean asked gently, his eyes soft as he moved a step closer to his baby brother, "you starting to feel a little better?"

Sam's eyes fell to the floor, his body slumping tiredly down onto the mattress, "not really, I feel okay now, but the pain comes and goes."

Dean nodded knowingly, taking another step forward, so that he could kneel before Sam. With gentle fingers, he turned the other man's face so that he was forced to look him in the eyes.

"I'll always be here for you Sammy, you know that right?" Dean smiled, "I'll never let you go, and I'll always have your back."

Sam gasped, recoiling so fast he felt bile rise in his throat at the sight before him. Dean's eyes were black as pitch, and his mouth slowly twisted into a sardonic leer. Sam cried out, scrabbling backwards off the cot until he was back against the wall, his eyes wide.

Dean stood slowly, walking forwards with that same grin etched on his face, "what's the matter Sammy?" he purred, "this is what you want, isn't it?" his brother grinned evilly, "I always promised you I'd be there for you, Sammy, my baby brother."

He knelt before Sam again, soft lips continuing his words, "I always told you I'd do anything to keep you safe...and I kept my words Sammy, I brought you back..."

Sam couldn't press any further into the wall than he already was, his mouth was open in a silent cry as his brother pressed impossibly close to his body. His eyes shot wide as Dean moved in, and brushed his lips against Sam's strongly.

Dean barely kissed his little brother, before leaning further forward, and whispering in his ear, "do you see what you've made me into, Sammy?"

"_**Don't hide your mistakes**_

'_**cause they'll find you, burn you"**_

Sam shrieked in pain as the words sunk in, his body crumpling in on itself as he felt the agony hammered home again and again with every beat of his heart. Tears ran in rivulets down his face as he rocked and shook, his eyes scrunched tightly closed against the pain.

When he finally managed to look up again, and blink blearily through his tears, Dean was gone. And it was with an almost impossible wave of relief that Sam realised he had never really been there at all.

_Then he said, "__**if you want to get out alive,**_

_**Run for your life**__"_

"_**If you want to get out alive,**_

_**Run for your life**__"_

Dean came to visit him later, and this time Sam knew that it was really him. Dean smiled at him warmly, and asked how he was going, but the warmth didn't reach his eyes.

Sam eyes the food Dean brought him hungrily, but knew that if he were to eat it right now, it would simply be another thing in his stomach to be thrown up. However, he lunged at the plastic jug of water like his life depended on it, and Dean was forced to intercept.

"Hey! Whoa Sam!" Dean grabbed the jug and put it back down on the floor, frowning at his brother, "you know that won't help hydrate you unless you drink it slowly."

Sam nodded glumly, and stared at the jug tiredly, "when can I leave Dean...?" he moaned quietly, putting his head in his hands.

Dean shook his head, "I'm sorry Sammy, we really don't know how long this is going to take. But Bobby and I are sure it's going to take at least three days." He swiped a long fingered hand through his hair, "just try and hang in there Sam, you'll be okay."

He smiled again sadly, before leaving.

Sam sat in silence, before Ruby suddenly seemed to materialise before him. Sam groaned, "oh come on, I'm sane enough to know you're not real, just leave me alone!"

Ruby tutted quietly, "now now Sammy, of course I'm not real, but there's no need to make a girl feel bad."

Sam hissed, "don't call me that!"

She simply grinned at him, "Oh I'm sorry, I forgot only your beloved big brother was allowed to call you Sammy." She took a step forward, her high-heels clicking loudly on the concrete floor, "why is that exactly, Sam?" she purred.

Sam simply growled, and turned away, "what do you want Ruby?" he spat, his teeth clenched strongly.

She laughed, her voice penetrating his mind easily, "why, I'm here to ease your pain a little Sammy."

When he looked back up at her, she was smiling, a dagger held over her arm, "I'm here to give you one last taste of power..."

"_This is my last time," she said as she faded away_

"_It's hard to imagine, but one day you'll end up like me."_

Her skin parted beneath the blade, and suddenly blood was spilling down her arm, rich and scarlet red as it welled up.

Sam's heartbeat shot to the roof as he stood like lightly, taking a step towards her. He could smell the blood so strongly his body was singing, his heart pounded painfully in his chest and his mouth turned dry.

With a huge effort he stopped his movements towards her, sweat popping out on his brow as his eyes moved up to her face, "I don't want that Ruby...I want to get clean."

She laughed, taking a step forward and waving her arm under his nose, "aw, now now Sam, we both know that isn't true." She licked her lips, "you want this just as much as I do, to feel the power flowing through you."

She grinned, "come on Sammy, just one more time."

He couldn't hold out any longer, and he fell upon her arm, his tongue lapping hungrily along her skin.

But with a shock in his gut he realised it felt just the same as when the spectre of Dean had kissed him; he felt it only in his mind, and not against his skin.

Falling back, he began to cry, his body curling up again for the millionth time that day. His withdrawal just seemed that much more painful now, after he thought he could escape it, could have the feeling of absolute power back.

Ruby chuckled, leaning in she petted his hair gently, "aww, poor Sammy, it's okay, if you're lucky, this process will kill you."

_If you want to get out alive_

_Run for your life_

_If you want to get out alive_

_Run for your life_

Sam screamed and flailed, trying to push her away, but nothing he did was of any use. He scrambled to his feet, bolting for the door he fell against it heavily, screaming and pounding his fists with it as he called out for Dean, screamed for him to save him.

_If you want to get out alive_

_If you want to get out alive_

_Run for your life_

Sam fell to the ground heavily, pounding against the metal weakly as he cried, trying to hide his head in his arms against the cold door as he quaked and shook. But nothing he did could drown out the words of his brother, the 'Dean' who was stood in the middle of the room behind him.

Dean chuckled, "I won't come Sammy, don't you realise I've already spent everything on you?" He crouched down in front of Sam and grinned, "I don't have any more love to give you Sammy, you took it all away."

The spectre pressed closer, his eyes deepest, demonic black as he snickered; "now all I have left to offer you is hate."

"_**If you want to get out alive**_

_**If you want to get out alive**_

_**Run for your life**__"_

**88888988888**

Dean's whole body shook as he stood at the top of the stairs. Sam was screaming again, calling out for Dean to save him from whoever or whatever was currently torturing him. Every fibre of his being was humming with the need to go down there and save Sam, to make him better, but nothing he could do would help in any way.

When he'd taken Sam the plain food and pitcher of water, he'd felt a stab of pure pain enter his heart at the state his little brother was in. Sam's skin was pale as ice, his eyes sunken and black and his whole body shivering with pain and fear. Dean really hated to see him like that.

"DEAN! Oh god Dean, please help me! They won't stop, make them stop!!!"

Sam's voice reached his ears in a painful cry, and Dean clenched his eyes closed against the pain that stabbed in his gut. His fingers bit so strongly into his arms that they would surely bruise, and his jaw ached against the pain of being clenched for so long. With a far from easy struggle, he urged himself to move, and slowly made his way back outside.

**If I stay it won't be long**

'**till I'm burning on the inside**

Dean had to move; he had to get away from the sound of Sam's painful cries, and the certainty that there was nothing he could do about them. With a heavy sigh, he pulled the keys for the Impala out of his pocket, and headed over to the car.

**If I go I can only hope**

**That I make it to the other side**

Dean sat down heavily at the bar, his eyes trailing lazily over the bartender more out of habit than any kind of desire.

"What'll it be honey?" she purred quietly, stalking up the bar towards him on her far too high-heeled shoes.

Dean flicked his eyes away from her, taking in the other inhabitants of the bar, before answering quietly, "just get me a beer."

She nodded, and within seconds Dean had it in his hand, and was downing it like a man dying of thirst. She watched him with large, shocked eyes, and simply took it as he handed the empty bottle over, and supplied him with a new one.

By the time Dean was ready to leave, he'd had a very large amount to drink. He wasn't sure exactly how many beers he'd had, but he lost count after the sixth, and knew that he'd moved onto hard liquor before leaving.

He was outside now, sighing heavily as he lent against the brick wall. Stumbling a little, he made his way down the alley at the side of the place; moving away from the harsh light of the streetlamps and neon signs.

He stood there for what felt like an age, just letting his head loll softly against the brick as he felt the gentle fuzz of alcoholic stupor settle over him. He hadn't been this drunk in a long time, and that was saying something.

Dimly he registered the sound of voices further down the alley, and cringed against the light of the bar's back door opening, and spilling three men out into the alley.

They were laughing amongst themselves, but not in the way that drunk men do, and Dean surmised that they had only been there for some light drinking.

The three men ambled up the alley, when suddenly the one in front stopped and held his hands out to either side, pulling his two companions to a stop beside him. He flicked a hand in Dean's direction and grinned, "and what do we have here boys?"

Dean groaned; he would know that tone of voice anywhere. The guy was a sleaze; his hair was slicked back, his eyes sunken in his head, and voice the pitch and tone of tar against oil.

The man stepped forward, his two companions behind him, until he was right in Dean's face, "what are you doing out here all own your own then, eh?" he snickered, "if you've so much time to spare, fancy playing with us a little?"

The two cronies laughed, and Dean rolled his eyes, or at least he tried, he _was_ drunk after all.

"Fuck off!" Dean slurred tiredly, "'m just trying to enjoy the quiet, quit ruinin' it!"

The man chuckled, and pressed forward until Dean had no space to move, a large arm either side of his head, "I'll leave, if you give us what we want first!"

He hissed menacingly and leaned closer, his breath hot and foul against Dean's ear as he growled quietly, "turn around and bend over, pretty boy."

Dean saw red.

"What the fuck are you saying to me?!" he growled quietly, all trace of a slur gone from his voice as the anger in his system forced it out, "you think you can get away with that shit?!"

The man's face turned dark and cold as he slammed a hand against Dean's shoulder, pressing him painfully hard against the brick wall behind him, "you're going to do as I say asshole, or I'll make you!" he spat.

Dean hissed, and in a second had their position reversed, slamming the shorter man again and again against the hard wall, his eyes glowing with anger as he growled out, "people like you make me fucking angry!"

Two strong hits to the ribs, and one to the solar plexus had the man arching forward painfully, where Dean was able to grab his head and slam it into his knee, before a vicious twist had the man's neck almost breaking.

Dean gasped at the effort it took to pull that twist short, and was momentarily stunned by the other two, as they grabbed him and pulled him away from their leader.

Dean stood in the centre of the alley, swaying slightly as the alcohol in his system blended with the lust to kill. His eyes listed gently up to eye the other two men, only to find that one of them was halfway through sending a punch directly into Dean's face.

He dropped quickly, and the man screeched as his fist landed painfully against the brick of the alley, shattering his knuckles.

**If you want to get out alive**

**Run for your life**

Dean kicked his leg out and brought the man down to the ground hard, before diving atop him, and pulverising the crap out of his face. A sound behind him had him alert to movement, and he spun away quickly, before rising and slamming his elbow hard into the second man's lower back, making his body arch back.

**If you want to get out alive**

**Hold on for...**

Taking the chance, Dean slipped a hand around the man's throat and brought him down hard backwards, smacking his head against the concrete and instantly sending him unconscious.

Standing once again, Dean stumbled slightly, but regained his footing, watching the man with a mashed face rise slowly from his place on the ground, moving to his hands and knees.

Walking over to him, his gait unsteady, Dean slammed a heavy-booted foot down in the middle of his back, sending him once against sprawling to the floor, an 'oomph!" being forced from his lips as all of the air was driven from his lungs. Dean lent down and grabbed his long, oily hair, and slammed his forehead into the ground with a resounding crack.

Sliding back up he moved the few steps to the leader, who was standing against the brick wall, shaking slightly. His eyes flew wide as Dean approached, and he pressed back against the wall as if for protection.

Dean grabbed the man's already bruising throat, and pulled him close, "I could have broken your neck just then, and I nearly did. You'd deserve it too, asshole."

The man made a wild lunge at him, but Dean spun him quickly, pressing him against the wall with his whole body, as he crushed the breath out of his chest with his weight. He twisted the man's arms strongly up his back, until his felt one of them pop from its socket, and heard the man scream, sending a thrill of throbbing pleasure through his veins.

**If you want to get out alive**

**If you want to get out alive**

**Run for your life**

**If you want to get out alive**

**If you want to get out alive**

**Run for...**

Dean could feel his pulse racing, his heart beating a mile a minute and his very blood burn in his veins as he held the man there, fully under his power as he twisted the other arm up, ever so slowly dragging it, until that delicious, breathtaking click and slide of freedom as it popped out of place, and the bloodcurdling scream that accompanied it.

Everything about this moment was so right, so good, and Dean could hardly stop his eyes from wandering the expanse of pale, sweating skin at the base of the other's skull. With a feral growl, Dean bent low and sunk his teeth deep into the man's nape, feeling blood well up in his mouth as he claimed ownership, and ultimate domination of his victim.

**If I stay it won't be long**

'**till I'm burning on the inside**

Dean moved back, and spat the blood all over the back of the man's head, grinning as it ran down his skin in rivulets. The man was sobbing and begging, groaning for Dean to please set him free, and he would never do it again. With a growl, Dean twisted the man's arms back painfully, causing him to scream again, and he would have fallen to his knee's has Dean's weight not been pressed so firmly against him.

"Damn right you won't fucking do it again."

**If I go I can only hope**

**That I make it to the other side**

Dean wanted to do it so badly, he wanted to twist and smash and hit this man until there was nothing left of him. But slowly, painfully, he forced himself to release the man's arms. Before he could get away though, Dean slammed him hard into the brick, knocking his head against it, and sending him into unconsciousness along with his friends.

**If I stay it won't be long**

'**till I'm burning on the inside**

Stepping back slowly, Dean wobbled and sunk to his knees. Gasping, he let a shaking hand pull up to his face, and wiped the blood away from his mouth, before carding his fingers through his hair. He had been so close to losing it; so near to falling into the person he could never allow himself to be.

Standing dizzily, he stumbled a few steps before looking back. The rapists were crumpled almost in a circle, two bleeding profusely from the nose, and one from the back of the head. There was no way they were getting up any time soon.

Waveringly, Dean made his way down the alley to the back door of the bar, and leaning in he yelled, "yo! There are three rapists out in the alley, someone call the police!"

He let the door close behind him, and stumbled back out to the car. He shouldn't really be driving, but he was accomplished enough at driving when drunk, so he figured he'd deal with the consequences later, and slid behind the wheel.

**If I go I can only hope**

**That I make it to the other side**

Once he was back at Bobby's, Dean groggily made his way back down to where Sam was being contained, and fell against the door with a weary sigh. His ears caught the sound of Sam's faint sniffling and crying, and he pressed against the cool metal, sighing in relief as it touched against his overheated flesh.

**If I go, If I go!!!**

"It's okay Sammy." He slurred quietly, hoping it was loud enough for the other to hear, "I'm not gunnu go anywhere, 'm right here."

**Burning on the inside!**

Sam cried out, and Dean heard the slap of his palms against the metal as undoubtedly Sam leaned in close, "Dean, Dean oh god, this is aweful!"

_Burning on the inside!_

Dean purred quietly, "I know it is Sammy, I know. Don't worry, we're goin' to fix you up and get you all better. 'm right here, so try get some sleep."

If Sam noticed the drawling way that Dean was speaking, he didn't say anything, and Dean pressed closer to the metal, whispering to Sam, "'m watching over you, baby brother, you'll be fine! Sleep now."

Resolutely, Dean watched out for Sam, his eyes resolutely set on the rectangle of slowly intensifying light that signified the only entrance.

But underneath his blood was boiling away icily in his veins, and his heart was beating a steady rhythm that it hadn't for months. He felt alive again, and bursting with the memories of how it felt, even in such a blind-drunk moment, as he claimed and pillaged all that was rightfully his. He had burned and tortured, hit and felt flesh and muscle ripple beneath his fist as his enemy felt the full force of his wrath.

Running his tongue along his teeth he felt the slight slick of blood ease the passage, and tasted the coppery tang. He had no love for the fluid, what he needed it for was what it signified. He shuddered as he relived the exquisite feel of sinking his teeth into another's neck, of forcing them into submission as he dominated their whole world with pain and mastery.

**BURNING ON THE INSIDE!**

He forced his mind away from the tantalising thoughts, and focused on the task of getting Sam back to full health. His little brother was so close that Dean could practically feel his presence, and he lent back against the solid door tiredly, feeling the familiar feel of looking after his most precious calm his nerves, and bring his body slowly down from its high

The two sat in silence, each pressed close to their side of the door, listening to the even breaths of the other, until they fell into blissfully silent sleep.

**88888988888**

Well, there it is! What do you think of the length?! This baby is the longest chapter I've ever written! O.o

Hmmm, after writing this, I feel a little let down by my first chapter. I hope some people were able to make it through, and if you did, please leave a review!

You've made it this far, is it really that hard to push the button?


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